Friday, February 8, 2013

Zipper from Hades!

 I haven't met a zipper in recent times that will work with me.

I bought a fresh down filled jacket from Mountain Equipment in the fall preparing ahead for the robust winds of now. I love this burly protector except for one item - the fucking zipper,

I have that Red Rocket TTC app timed for my sprint from house to bus stop. The only thing in the way of me clocking exit at two
minutes between sidewalk, light change and bus is that ridiculous zipper. Most times I just give up and wrap around me like a potato collector turn of last century stealing food for a family of nine.

I do everything by the numbers in fact I throw in a few additional numbers hoping the angle is precise and grip aligned with ribbing. There are days I don't think about it and speed zip and all is well then there are those most like the situation an hour back where I stood there like a two year old whining in front the dogs then swearing. Honest to God my left palm aches from the clench.

Most my pants zip quick without resistance. I'm thinking this must be why the jacket was on sale. I want to start a club.

The other Gortex jacket in possession gets me on the rebound when I unzip. It catches somewhere between neck and breast plate and snags like a hangman's noose. I can't even slip over my head.

I don't remember as a child having so many issues and incidence with the common zipper. I think they were made of titanium or something and you could big grip them and zipper soared like it traveled by monorail.

Never liked that big silver button above zipper on jeans .. Same thing - fingers would collapse from attempting to insert button through small slit.

So here's the challenge for a smart entrepreneur .. Invent the cant miss zipper with super glide and assurance and book on that Devils Pit show and grab some coin. The world is waiting!

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